As my life unraveled I reached a point where all I could say was
Fuck it, I’ll have another cookie
I self-medicated with comfort food
In the lonely evenings I fed my longing with empty calories
But even though they were empty they weren’t benign
My gut started just below my chin and curved south
Like I’d swallowed a roll-top desk
I would get winded lacing up my shoes
The ring I no longer wore wouldn’t have fit anyway
I travelled the trail from stout to fat
Saw a signpost pointing to morbidly obese straight ahead
So I decided to pull a u-turn
At first it was like those supertankers
Taking half an ocean to turn around
As I cut out sugars and fats and switched licorice and sweets
For celery sticks and carrots
Each inch cinched tighter was a struggle not a cinch
I stopped channel surfing past Doctor Oz and paused to watch
Started subtracting familiar foods
Until my burgers were only lettuce and tomato
I slipped into rawness with the stealth of a paleo hunter
Now I buy new jeans every month or so
Smaller and smaller
The roll-top desk is gone
I barely break a sweat on the home gym
Which is comforting in the extreme of this extreme
I have become immune to commercials
I drive past fast food joints barely registering their existence
Hunger pangs are familiar friends I hang with
No longer feared but embraced
I smile into mirrors at the thinner inner me
Who was always there before but badly camouflaged
Now I knit new cloth
From the unraveled tapestry pooled on the floor
And barely remember the taste of cookies
David Trudel © 2013
I readily admit to being pretty self indulgent with my poetry the past few months. I do write other words sometimes that aren’t quite so self-centered and some of those can make me feel socially relevant. Today I submitted a grant application to the town hall asking for funds to restore the front steps at the community hall. If all goes well, my words will be made concrete. (groan!!!!)
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Tagged as community, grants, social activism, social commentary, social engagement