Honestly

My vulnerability is that I’m not strong enough

To expose my weaknesses

I don’t do full frontal poetry

Just let the occasional moon poke through

I don’t write about late night drinking and passing out in the recliner

Or midnight toking when I don’t need another joint

But want an excuse to look at the stars

I don’t write about my precarious finances

Or the precipice I’m skirting

And I certainly don’t write poetry about

The web of relationships that ebb and flow

In my life

My sex life is so boring

That I’d be hard pressed to extract a haiku from that prompt

 

Five fingers stroking

Seven minutes pleasuring

Five small lonely deaths

 

I’m not strong enough to remove all my masks

Or tear down all the walls I’ve built to keep you out

My honesty is opaque and measured

I let the world uncover truths or insights that I pass along

Rendered words transforming fact to transfixion

But in all honesty

I’m not

I’m not strong enough to celebrate my flaws

So I question my own authenticity

Wondering about truth

Or if truth is ever fully honest

Wondering about authenticity and phoniness

Would Holden Caulfield, aged and wrinkled

Sneer at me over his walker and call me out

Hey phony, why don’t you write something real for once

He’d say

And I wouldn’t be insulted

Because I’d recognize the truth

In all honesty

 

David Trudel   ©  2013

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9 Comments

Filed under Poetry

9 responses to “Honestly

  1. David, this is so real. Love it. Your haiku in there, oh my–Holden would not be calling you phony at all.

  2. Okay, today is the day for honesty it would seem. As well as removing masks, facing the self made demons. not sure what caulfield would think, but then again, who gives a shit. you want to question something? question the need to question. you’re here, you’re writing’s here, how can it be anything but what it is? (aren’t you glad you encouraged my input?)

  3. If there is one, lol. Sometimes it just gets all chopped and diced. Layers are arbitrary, something i have difficulty with.

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