I wish I could remember happy
Enough to be it
Running along the beach and turning cartwheels kind of happy
All caps HAPPY shouting unashamedly, yes I am over the edge
Of restraint
Unlike the reality of tranquility and contentment
Where my happy enough happy
Is leavened by nagging worries and doubt
Halfway happy that never spills over the edge
Wearing a smile not a belly laugh
This shaded happiness that purrs contentedly
Familiar and relaxed as Saturday clothes
Is just not the kind of happy I want to remember and relearn
I want the kind of happy that plunges hilt deep into pleasure
The happy that floods every thought and feeling
I want to remember an atomic bomb of happiness
Avalanches and tornados and tsunamis of unmitigated glee
Where happy is a solid state miracle of merriment
And everything falls into place
Just so
The kind of happy that is worth a memory
I wish I could remember happy
Like that
David Trudel © 2013
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