I wish I could remember happy

Enough to be it

Running along the beach and turning cartwheels kind of happy

All caps HAPPY shouting unashamedly, yes I am over the edge

Of restraint

Unlike the reality of tranquility and contentment

Where my happy enough happy

Is leavened by nagging worries and doubt

Halfway happy that never spills over the edge

Wearing a smile not a belly laugh

This shaded happiness that purrs contentedly

Familiar and relaxed as Saturday clothes

Is just not the kind of happy I want to remember and relearn

I want the kind of happy that plunges hilt deep into pleasure

The happy that floods every thought and feeling

I want to remember an atomic bomb of happiness

Avalanches and tornados and tsunamis of unmitigated glee

Where happy is a solid state miracle of merriment

And everything falls into place

Just so

The kind of happy that is worth a memory

I wish I could remember happy

Like that



David Trudel    © 2013



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