it all happens
deliberately
even random shots
caroming off bumpers
have some impulse
driven into them
by some driver
someone with a pointed stick
ready to
make a decision
regardless
so when you look at me
sideways
lips pursed
I know what mine is
regardless
and I begin to be deliberate
in the deliberation
of my anarchistic freedom
into some kind of surrender
a giving up of control
just as I realize I never had it
really
because
this has always been a shared delusion
and once shared
I
am
shy
David Trudel © 2013
