Tag Archives: emotions

threads

each word dangles like a loose thread

from a well-worn sweater

I pull

it unravels

until there is just a pile of rawness

 

 

David Trudel   © 2014

 

 

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Hollow Empty

If I am hollow empty as I feel

Maybe I can touch dark matter

Feel cold flames of a conflagration of dark energy

Inside this void

Where there is more space than I care for

Normally

Whatever that state is

 

Today I’m stateless

Abnormal

Hollow empty

Absolved of guilt borne of excessive obsession

Or sins of misdirection

In this absence of emotional weight

I approach nothingness

Surreptitiously

More of a leaving than an arrival

Remembering a void, not a place

Where there are no exits or entrances

Because this is not a place to come to or leave from

This is not a direction

 

This is waking to hollow empty carelessly

Darkly indifferent

To the absence of emotion and externalities

Internalizing the all of nothing

Which has just enough mystery to matter

Darkly

 

 

David Trudel     © 2013

 

 

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Vulnerable

You have strength enough to proclaim your vulnerability

With a smile that says I’m strong enough

But only to a point

I can see scarred clearcuts behind your eyes

And feel the impact that toxic spills have left behind

So I understand the need for an emotional review

Before exposing your susceptibility to tenuous possibility

I am content with your consideration

Happy enough with the ambiguity of a slow process

Stripped down to essentials like truth and beauty

Rendered and distilled into an intoxication of promise

Called hope

 

 

David Trudel   ©  2013

 

 

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Sadness

It’s hard, choosing to be positive

On days when feelings of melancholy sadness descend over me

Hammering negative thoughts into my mind

I’m not even talking about the bleak news of the world

Of countries torn by uncivil war

Or refugees living in squalor

And the countless heartbreaks left by natural disasters

Let alone the jackboot tactics of cynical political masters

No, it’s enough to bemoan my outcast state

Wallowing in the self-pity of the chronically alone

Wondering which cruel twist

Fate will burden me with next

I try a workout to exorcise these heavy thoughts

But no trickle of endorphins is enough to break this black spell

Even knowing that emotions are temporary and capricious

Isn’t much comfort when they are visiting

So I choose to leave these uninvited guests

And walk away to find some measure of peace in nature

Maybe I’ll hug a tree today

Since hugs are good for the soul they say

And trees run real slow

David Trudel   © 2013

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Puddled

A moment after the last echo

Of the original shockwave ceased reverberating

As this sun-spawned ember cooled in blackness

Elemental in its purity

Hydrogen ganged up on oxygen to create water

Clear as moonlight

Unmixed with anything

Long before it became the growing medium for all life

It was simply water

Unadulterated by microorganisms

 

Two and a half billion years later

Puddles of purity have been uncovered in the depths of bedrock

Leading me to sink a mineshaft through my heart

To plumb my soul’s depths

Looking for aquifers of pure emotion

Where happiness is unpolluted with nagging doubts and fears

And love is unbidden and unguarded

As it was before original sin

Before Eden and guilty thoughts

Before the diminution of cosmic sanctity

Into ideals to aspire to but never quite reach

So I search for elemental purity within

Convinced that something remains

Of the perfection of limitless possibility

 

 

David Trudel    ©  2013

 

 

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Springtime

I really shouldn’t have worn gloves today

By the time I was too far away to go back home

I had to take them off

I stuffed them in my pockets

Dense morning fog left leaves glistening

Emotionally the gloves are off too

As fear and anxiety

And doubt and hate

Tag team me in the uncanvassed ring inside my head

Leaving me with my eyes glistening

As I walked on birdcalls burst through headphones

Reminding me about the real playlist I should be listening to

Instead of these pleasant distractions

Which is what a lot of us end up doing

Creating pleasant distractions of short term pleasures

In our lives of gilded leisure

Which leave us feeling a little guilty

A little hollow

A little unresolved

So I resolve to pay closer attention to strategic arcs

Move purposefully from goal to goal

Within some shapeshifting masterplan

That I’ll get to tomorrow

Now, the air stirs in the warmth of spring

I realize my jacket’s liner is no longer needed

Just the opposite, so I unzip and feel breezekissed

Tasting freshness on the wind

 

 

David Trudel   © 2013

 

 

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Emotions

Emotions can be dangerous and risky for anyone

But a poet’s emotions are the very wellspring

Of creativity and art

Brightly hued maelstroms of passion

 

We tend to go off the deep end of the pool

We don’t just fall in love

We do swan dives off that cliff in Acapulco

Where you have to time your leap

Waves crashing over the rocks

Or set high altitude records leaping from the edge of outer space

That’s a long way to fall

But one hell of a ride along the way

 

Even negative emotions like fear or anger

That philosophically you know aren’t valid

Based as they are on false assumptions

Or an incorrect assessment of the data

Sweep you up and tumble you around

Some kind of hardwired impulse drive inside your mind

Pushing every wrong button there is to push

And in the centre of your consciousness

Its like you’ve been paralyzed with some Amazonian poison

Just like in action movies

You watch it all unfold and you can’t move or even speak

You can’t unpush the buttons

So you ride it out

A thundering ride on a barely broken meanspirited bronco

Heading for the Grand Canyon

Where he’ll try to buck you off

 

Emotions can be dangerous

 

But exhilarating, too

Thrilling your senses to full alert

Mere stories made epic

Common currency made precious

 

So I’ll enjoy that ride

Even though I’m terrified

Some risks are worth the trouble

Some rewards are genuine

 

David Trudel  © 2012

 

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